I am blessed to have a varied group of blog readers and supporters. I try not to lean on you guys too much for input but there are times I just really want to to know what you think.
Actually, I always want to know but Lately I've been thinking about how politically charged parenting is. Every parenting decision from what kind of diapers, vaccines, nursing or not, working and child care to what to feed the baby seems to be making some kind of statement.
Has this always been the case or is it just that I'm paying more attention to it?
What are your thoughts on this subject? I'd be curious to know what the "hot" parenting landmines are/were for you? And if you don't have kids, I'm still curious what you think about this in general. Is it just me?
If you aren't comfortable posting here, please e-mail me your thoughts.
Nathalie's Notes 
I first must say how much I look forward to reading your posts and your column! You’re such a good writer. I have ALWAYS found parenting to be political, I think the hot buttons for me were and are the working vs. staying home and single parenting. With Jake I had to work and I was a single mom for a very long time. Looks of pity or questioning my choice of working would often plague me. I mean, what was I supposed to do at 19 years old with a baby?! Go on welfare? Live with my mom? And then the whole no help thing, if Jake was sick, I was the one to go and be with him, didn’t make me tremendously popular at some jobs. Oh and the sick idea that single working moms get “leaner” treatment for sick days or leaving early, those were my favorite. Now with Cole, I still feel a bit sheepish volunteering at school and all the other moms know each other and I just kind of look at my feet when they are talking or focus on the kids projects. Oh man, I have another one, sports…..oh the comparison of how much your kid does. I guess what I love most is the connection with some of the other moms who you bond with for some reason or another. I found another kindergarten mom who also forgot her kids’ emergency kit and didn’t really know what it was. She looked at me and said “What the F***? Was I supposed to know about this?” I loved her on the spot.
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First let me say, as you know, I don’t have kids but I do have an opinion. I think that all the people that are questioning/judging you and your parenting actions are actually questioning themselves and their own parenting decisions. I think that because I never question anyone’s parenting decisions (unless of course they are putting their child directly in harms way) and maybe that’s because I don’t have any of my own parenting judgments/questions/decisions to judge against. I think the people who are questioning you are actually questioning themselves and their own decisions. I also think you should tell them to all F… off. =) Just kidding.
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I think politics are always going to be an issue in parenting. My mother didn’t breastfeed my older brother because my grandmother insisted that was only for poor people and hippies. Having a first grader at this point I think the most ridiculous topic is working vs nonworking. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and it’s much easier to be considered lazy because you choose to stay home than be considered heartless because your child’s in daycare and being ‘raised by someone else.’ What really is the point of mothers passing judgment over other mothers? Don’t we tell our children not to do this? Wouldn’t our children get along better if we ceased judging others ourselves? Everyone has an opinion but you have to consider how useful or hurtful it would be to anyone to actually hear it. At some point as a parent you have to adopt the ‘f- ’em’ attitude and go on with your own family and maybe once in a while you do have to tell someone to ‘F off!’
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Thanks, guys. I agree with all of you. As a new mom I find myself being much LESS judgey than I was before. It was interesting to hear your thoughts … any more out there?
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