It should be noted that I haven't lost any real weight yet. I have, however, dropped some mental baggage since I saw the virtual weight loss picture of me minus 35 pounds.
The ugly truth about losing weight is that if you're doing it sanely, it's a lot of effort for little to no instant gratification. It's also about having faith that if you keep at it, the rewards will be bigger than wearing a smaller size, a swim suit in public (maybe even a snazzy Speedo!), or not having to use props on your lap to sit comfortably in the company of others.
That faith part is tough for me because even though I lost a good chunk of weight before my wedding, I never really lost it. It comes back and hangs out for a few years, then goes away and comes back … so I really don't know what it feels like to lose it for good.
I've used pictures to motivate me before but they were either a) pictures of a thinner me back in the height of my bulimia or b) pictures at my heaviest that make me cringe.
Neither of those work for me because in the first case, I'll never be that girl in skinny jeans who can party all night, eat junk food, puke it up and get decent grades again. And I don't want to be, except for the cute jeans.
In the second case, anything that makes me cringe isn't a good motivator. When I feel like shit about myself, I want to eat Nutella out of the jar.
I was flipping through one of Amy's magazines when I found the site for this virtual weight loss thing where you upload your picture and enter a few stats and then get this picture of yourself back, minus your goal weight.
Before I could talk myself out of it, Amy took a picture of me and we uploaded it. Before I read the fine print. Next thing I knew, I thought I was being punked by someone on Facebook because I was being instructed to sign into my Facebook account to see my picture. Oh.My.God. I deleted the "before" picture from Amy's camera chip, desktop and recycle bin and here it was about to be on freaking Facebook?!?
Luckily, I didn't have a coronary and the setting is private (I'm hoping) and it was worth the stress when I got the "after" picture back a few days later.
"This is me." I thought when I looked at that after picture. Me in my clothes today. And that works for me.