I stayed up until a little after midnight last night. The boys were both asleep and Matt and I stayed up talking. And talking. And talking. Matt is not normally the chatty type so I was willing to push the sleepiness aside to listen. There was a lot to talk about because, it turns out, neither of us can remember the last time we did that. There's been a date or two since Sam was born a couple years ago but just sitting around at home and planning for our future together hasn't happened in a long while. I didn't even realize how much I'd missed that until I went to bed that night feeling like I found something I'd lost a long time ago.
We've come a long way since our days of basement-apartment dwelling, frozen-dinner eating, bookstore-browsing for hours upon hours. By some people's standards we might even be called grown-ups. Which somehow doesn't preclude us from leaving clothes on the floor next to the hamper – ahem. But I digress. We used to talk for hours in the beginning of us. About everything. Dreams for the future, memories of the past, and plans for the present.
And then life happened and 12 years later we talk about what needs to be fixed in the house, how to pay for new tires, (following the argument over whether we really need them), what the kids are (or aren't) doing, and how in the hell we're going to keep the dog in the yard before she gets killed (by a car or one of us). Dreams? Who has those? Ah, yes … people who sleep.
I know it's easy to lose each other in the shuffle of life's details but you think it won't happen since you do, after all, see each other every day. But do you?
Do you really see each other, I mean?
I just ask because it turned out that we hadn't been and it feels pretty great to feel a flicker from the beginning of us … without all the angst of "will he call me back?"
I love this picture of us from a time when I wore overalls (and not because I was pregnant) because it's in front of one of our favorite bookstores back in Bellingham where we met.