Nathalie's Notes

Raising the Hardy Boys

Untitled-1

 

A couple weeks ago I wrote about the importance of keeping our eyes on our own paper when it comes to comparing ourselves, our work, our lives with the highlight reels of others.

Becky Higgins posted on the same topic that same day and generously linked to my post which is how I got to connect with so many of you. (Yay!)

I felt like the message was well received and hit home for a lot of us. Which validated my belief that we are experiencing an esteem epidemic among women in our country. (This may be true for men, and other  countries but I can only speak to that which I know for sure.)

Further proof that this is so was found in comments and posts responding to encouragement to keep things simple if that is what works for you. Somehow, this got translated for some to feeling like a pass to mock, criticize and put down others for approaching Project Life in a more embellished fashion. That was never my intent. My point, and I know this is true for Becky as well, was—and is—that how someone else does something is not a reflection or commentary on YOU, your process or your end product.

One comment that stood out to me in particular said something about being bothered by all the stuff Becky was posting as inspiration because this person didn’t like being made to feel inferior.

Made to feel inferior.

It feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it?

Until you realize that Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous words, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” are true to the core.

But you have to be willing to recognize the truth in that and invest in yourself to the point where you are grounded enough in your own sense of self to master (and override) the part your brain that allows you to think someone else is in control of any part of you.

Does that make sense?

It’s possible. I promise. And I’m at this very moment developing a class to help guide anyone who is interested along that journey to personal emotional empowerment.

(Partly because I’m an expert in a lot of ways not to be mentally healthy! While I don’t have it all figured out, the good news is I understand clearly “all figured out” was never the point.)

If the person who made that comment, or felt that way is reading this, I mean no disrespect. I totally get that feeling. I totally get thinking other people are making me feel a certain way.

There was a time I rolled around judging other people by how their looks made me feel about mine. (Not proud to admit that but it’s the truth.) It took me a long time to realize that’s what I was doing. And longer still to change the pattern in my brain. But my life is more peaceful because of it.

Another example that I realized only this morning (!):

Talking to a good girlfriend last night I mentioned that the perfect analogy for a particular relationship in my life is the Whac-a-Mole game, remember that? Where you had a bat and you’d beat the mole down every time it popped up?

“I feel like every time I forgive, rally and agree to move forward – whack! I’m the mole!” I told her. I prayed about this relationship before going to sleep, asking for peace in my heart, guidance and clarity.

This morning I woke up with this sentence on my mind: Yes, you are the mole. You are also holding the bat.

I’ll leave you with that, for now.

blog signature

p.s. If you like reading this blog, I’d take it as a lovely compliment if you subscribed! Thank you.

Note: for anyone who’d like it, you may copy, save and/or print the quote card I made at the top of this post. I made it for you. If you need me to email it to you, let me know!

6 thoughts on “Put down the bat

  1. Mickey says:

    How sad that as woman we critcize each other so much – PL is an awesome product – it can be anything you want it to be – a daily, weekly, monthly, whatever journal of your life or a way to get caught up on the past – or anything in between we can create. I lovingly admire the works of some that post awesome pages, but I don’t have the time for that right now in my life, but PL gave me a way to preserve those memories rather than letting my perfectionism take that away. It doesn’t mean my work is any less valuable or that my family will care about it any less, that the stories won’t be conveyed…when and if the time comes that I can go to town and have more time to be more creative and “play” with it – then I will. Make it your own and be proud to call it your own! Thank you Natalie and Becky for giving us the power to be who we are at this moment in time and know that it is ok!

    Like

  2. Nancy M says:

    Very well said! I almost think self esteem issues are part of being female… not sure why but it does seems that way. And I love that quote by ER.

    Like

  3. 1) I love Eleanor Roosevelt. Period. 🙂
    2) I think you’re right on — with how we ALLOW OURSELVES to feel inferior, be it with regard to our projects, our bodies, our careers, our families, our values, etc. I’ll be the first to say that humility doesn’t = feeling inferior or being a door mat.
    3) I LOVE that line: “This morning I woke up with this sentence on my mind: Yes, you are the mole. You are also holding the bat.” How freeing AND empowering!!!
    4) I also like this line of the commenter Mickey’s: “[Project Life] gave me a way to *preserve those memories rather than letting my perfectionism take that away*.”
    5) I hope you have a wonderful weekend!!!

    Like

  4. Jules says:

    Yep, I hear you! I’ve been thinking a lot about similiar things lately.
    That ER quote has always been one of my faves – it’s my fave quote on my facebook page, and coincidentally before I came across this blog, I’d done a post around it a few days ago.
    As for PL, I love that it is so flexible. I’m using it for monthly and special occasion pages, sometimes simply and sometimes with added decoration and it rocks either way.
    What rocks more – the fact that PL has connected me to this whole world of creative and clever people who I can learn from and be friends with and who have even stopped by my blog and left some lovely encouraging words about my blog and PL pages.

    Like

  5. Trina says:

    Another great post!! So true and I really love that quote.

    Like

  6. Trina says:

    PS–I love the new banner!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: